This is not how you want to use your Anger

 In Uncategorized

I want you to ask yourself few questions;

What do you believe about anger?

What have you learned about anger?

What did your mother/parents teach you about Anger?

 

Your relationship to your anger is determined by how you think and believe about it.

Many believe anger is dangerous inappropriate and vulgar.

On the other hand, many think Anger is useful and important as if its the only emotion

that can make things right.

 

What do you believe?

And how often are you angry? And who are you mad at?

 

As I help women to free themselves from their difficult mothers and build their

self-esteem, I noticed that there are two types of daughters. The one that is often angry

and resentful at her mother and the one that often feels sad and guilty about her mother.

I find both aren’t using Anger in a useful way.

 

Let’s take a close look at both of them.

 

The Angry daughter

If you find yourself often angry at your mother I want you to consider this;

1. You are actually angry at yourself and not at your mother.

Often we are Angry at ourselves for not setting boundaries, protecting our needs, and

taking care of what is important to us. Angry that we allowed our mother’s toxic

behavior to control our lives. Instead of owning that, many feel more comfortable

blaming and being Angry at their mothers.

 

It’s easier to be Angry at her rather than taking responsibility and admitting that we

didn’t do a great job at protecting ourselves. When you acknowledge that your anger is

yours you bring your power back to you.

 

2. You like being angry because it feels more powerful

and useful.

But here’s the thing. Instead of releasing and processing your anger and then letting it

go, you hold on to it. You keep focusing on what’s wrong, and by that, you’re

perpetuating your Anger even more. One of the reasons you do that is also because you

feel more comfortable with anger. For some, It’s easier to feel anger than allow sadness.

It feels more powerful to be angry than hurt. So you might be avoiding your pain and

sadness if you’re always choosing to be angry.

What will happen if you’d allow yourself to be sad?

 

3. You’re using anger as a punishment tool.

You believe your mother deserves your Anger. You may think you are punishing her

by staying resentful and angry at her, but really you are punishing yourself.

Who feels your anger? You do.

Your mother might be having a wonderful time feeling amazing while you are

seething and angry at her. You’re not feeling amazing or having a fantastic time.

But she does.

 

Your mother can’t feel your emotions.

Only you feel your anger. You suffer, not your mother.

 

Own your anger, it’s yours, you created it, and that’s okay.

Allow yourself to feel it, understand it and don’t utilize it against you or others.

Feel it and then release it.

 

 

The daughter that avoids Anger

If you’re avoiding your anger and suppress it, you may want to ask yourself why

you do it? What are you afraid of? What will happen once you are angry?

 

Many daughters believe that they will lose control and be angry forever.

But what really happens is that by repressing their anger, they’re carrying their

anger forever with them, and one day they won’t be able to control it anymore.

 

Anger isn’t a bad thing.

 

It will get dangerous if you turn your anger inward. Then it can turn into physical

symptoms and develop depression and other illnesses.

Think about anger as a signal.

It’s here to let you know that something went wrong and that something

needs to be done.

 

You can use anger to create change. It’s actually a beautiful, vital life energy.

Don’t fear it. By feeling guilty about your Anger, you’re preventing yourself from

processing it and releasing it. Blaming yourself and putting yourself down isn’t going

to serve you at all.

 

We judge and beat ourselves all the time for how we feel. Stop doing that and start

releasing your emotions in a healthy useful way.

Express your anger with movement, voice, paint, running or other forms of exercise.

Find your way and let it out in a healthy way.

Then decide to let it go.

If Anger is used wisely, it can turn into a creative powerful energy that allows

beautiful change to happen.

 

So ask yourself;

What is anger in your life?

Why are you angry? And what needs to change?

How are you the reason for your anger?

What does your anger need from you?

 

Much love

Aniko

 

P.S. Aren’t you tired of being resentful and bitter most of the time? Don’t you

wish to stop letting your mother cross your boundaries? And learn to protect

your needs better? If so then come to a free mini session, and I’ll help you

find a way to get unstuck and resolve your bitterness so you can feel more

empowered and build your self-esteem.

Click here to book your slot.

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