When mothers can’t show love
Mothers who suffer from depression, anxieties, pain attacks, hallucinations, or have
dysfunctional thinking foundation are less likely to be available to experience love and
therefore share and show the love to their children. Their ability to love is affected by
their disturbed thinking in their brains.
We don’t see that in moments where our mothers are attacking us, yelling at us, are
saying hurtful things to us, blaming us for their misery, manipulating and abusing us
emotionally. We will first be attempted to take her behavior personally.
That is what our mind is used to do.
When our mother can’t show their love to us, we often come to the
She hates us.
We’re not worthy of love.
We did something wrong.
And that we’re bad.
What is the cost of these conclusions?
Why are they dangerous and where do they lead us?
They are dangerous because we create a new painful belief about ourselves.
A belief that isn’t true at all. After adopting these beliefs (I’m bad, I’m unworthy of love…)
we will start to carry it with us in all our relationships. Without noticing it has become
part of our “identity” and it affected how we show up in the world.
The cost of it?
We add additional unnecessary pain to our suffering. Believing that we are unloved,
unworthy, a failure, and bad.
And it all started by giving an explanation to why our mothers are not showing us love.
So what do we do now?
We give up the control and wanting to change our mother.
I know you don’t like hearing that..
But give me a chance.
When you stop for a moment and accept that you were not loved the way you were
needed, you create space for your sadness. Many of us don’t want to feel sad.
It’s easier to feel anger and go to blame and control instead of feeling lack and deep
But the little girl inside of you is waiting for your attention. She is sad.
She wants you to see her sadness. She is waiting for your love.
When you’re busy focusing on how wrong your mother is, you are neglecting that
little girl. Shift your attention away from your mother back to you.
We must give up on the idea of how our mothers should love us. It is painful, but in
the long run, it will set us free. Our mother isn’t going to change and love us differently.
This is how she is able to show “love,” accepting it and not resisting it will help us create
our own love, the one we actually are really craving for.
When I work with women on that specific topic, we clean up their beliefs around their
thinking about their mothers “love” and eventually about their own identity.
Believing that you are the cause why your mother isn’t loving
you is a lie.
Her unloving actions are caused by her mind, her thoughts and not by you.
You’re not the reason why your mother can’t or won’t show you love.
You’re 100% lovable. Your mother’s action and “disabilities” can’t affect that.
I used to think my mother doesn’t want to love me. (This is a thought)
It made me feel extremely sad and rejected. But then I remembered the freedom I
had of choosing how to explain my mothers “love.” Today I adopted another belief;
My mother CANT love me the way I need her to, and that’s okay. Because if she could,
Change your beliefs and know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
That is the key to emotional freedom.
P.S if you want to release yourself from your mother and reclaim your life
the real way of doing it, is by releasing your toxic beliefs you’ve adopted
from her. I can help you with that! Take this work deeper and bring
transformation into your life. I offer a few consult calls per month for FREE!
Sign up for a free consult call here.
What is a consult call?
A consult call is straight up, no pressure conversation.
I ask you some questions, get an overview of what’s going on for you, and I’ll tell you
what I see. Might even coach if you want to try. Then you can ask me questions and –
if your interested, I’ll tell you about my program: reclaim your life and it’s up to you to
decide if that sounds like a path you want to take.
I’m so passionate about the power of coaching to change your life and your relationship
with your mother. (Yes, even YOUR mother!) I can’t wait to talk to you.